How to Look Rich Driving a Lexus ES

Behold the poser vehicle of choice! Photo courtesy of Lexus.

I've found that there are many people in life who go around trying to act like they make drastically more money than they actually bring in. Over time I've developed several theories about why people try to act like they're rich, and in the end I've concluded that such poser activities are pathetic, foolish and completely misguided. In fact many of the richest people I've ever known try to downplay their wealth by making efforts to not stick out amongst the crowd.

While I don't understand why some people have this undying urge to appear wealthy, I have started to notice a pattern in how many of these people put on the image of wealth without actually having the money to back it up. These men avoid "dressing down" at really any time and instead favor cheap pleated chinos, penny loafers and polyester polo shirts you would find on the mannequins at JC Penny's. But this is a car blog and not a fashion blog, so back to cars. When it comes to vehicle choice there seems to be one vehicle these posers gravitate towards: the Lexus ES.

Why is the Lexus ES the poser vehicle of choice? For starters to the untrained eye it looks like a big, expensive vehicle because of the stylized "L" plastered on the grill and deck lid. Once, many years ago, I had a coworker literally tell me that the cheapest Lexus cost "like $70,000." Yeah, maybe in Australia, but not here in the U.S. of A. Currently the 2013 Lexus ES 350 has an MSRP of about $36,000. You can't get a BMW 3-Series for that cheap! In fact, a fully-loaded Honda Oddysey Touring or a Chevrolet Suburban 1500 4WD costs significantly more.Why is the ES so damn cheap? Sadly, the car is a sheep in wolf's clothing. While it looks like a luxury car, it really is a near-luxury vehicle. Truth be told, the last few generations of the ES have been incredibly mechanically similar to a Toyota Camry, just with wood trim, a V6 engine and leather seats (and you can get a V6 engine and leather seats in a Camry).

So these poser guys buy a Lexus ES 350 hoping the average guy sees the Lexus insignia and the leather seats, takes a dump in his pants and automatically assumes the other guy's car is even nearly as nice and as expensive as the Lexus LS.

And then you have the bragging about how high-performance the Lexus ES 350 is, because we all know so many people who drag race their V6 Toyota Camry at the local strip on the weekend. Most luxury sedans pack at least a decent punch, even with all the heavy creature comforts weighing them down. The 2013 Lexus ES 350's engine produces an average 268 horsepower and 248 pound-feet of torque. The car also features unresponsive steering approved by the Blue Hair Club and a suspension setup that will have your eyes glazing over within two miles of driving. Trust me, no automotive enthusiast's heart beats faster upon thinking about driving the Lexus ES 350.

But the automotive ignorant don't get this. In fact, I once had one of these poser Lexus ES 350 drivers try to tell me some B.S. story about how he bought a Porsche Cayenne Turbo but sold it after a few months because it wasn't a very good vehicle. It's not like I stay up at night dreaming of owning a Cayenne, but the story was so ridiculous I had to bite my own tongue to keep from bursting out laughing. Why anyone would give up the blistering acceleration, cold-as-ice stopping power and road-gripping ability of a Cayenne Turbo for a Lexus ES 350 is completely inexplicable, except that the person is completely lying through his teeth. Posers don't know how to pull the wool over the eyes of someone who actually knows about cars instead of just vaguely knowing about car brands and not much else.

But I digress. The point is that there are so many people who buy the Lexus ES 350 to make themselves look rich. I'm not necessarily saying the ES 350 is a bad car, but then again I'm not really saying it's a good car. It's kind of like Wonder Bread, the stuff that thankfully is no more: it's just okay. While some people might be fooled by a Lexus ES 350, nobody who really knows cars will be impressed by an ES 350 owner's complete lack of automotive taste or pathetic attempt at appearing wealthy.

How NOT to Load a Car into a Trailer!

I'll be brief: the following video shows exactly how you shouldn't load a car of any kind into a trailer. They make ramps for that for a reason. A group of not very bright guys decide to jimmy-rig their own ramp out of wood, an old ladder, old wheels and such, so they can load an old Nissan Prairie into a trailer (sporting a nice set of green painted steelies, I must point out). What happens in the end is... well, you'll see.

Enjoy!

What Whiny Porsche Fans Can Learn From Saab

2012 Porsche 911 GT3 RS. Photo courtesy Porsche Cars North America

If there's one thing in life I hate more than anything it's whiners. We all know people who are never satisfied with anything, who always pine after "the good ol' days" when everything was obviously so incredibly superior and who find fault in so much that surrounds them. Sadly there are many Porsche fans who fall into the whiner category.


I love Porsches and don't have anything against the brand or the culture in general, just to get things straight before I continue.

2013 Porsche Boxster S. Photo courtesy Porsche Cars North America

The Porsche fan whining picked up when the 911 switched from air-cooling to water-cooling, with people declaring the car was "ruined" and wouldn't be as reliable. I know Porsche fans and owners who still swear the only "real" 911s are air-cooled models. In more modern times Porsche fans complained like hell when the Boxster was introduced in the '90s. These people called the Boxster all kinds of names and some still refuse to accept it as a "real" Porsche. The truth is the Boxster likely saved Porsche from going into bankruptcy, and who knows where that would have led.

In recent years there has been quite a bit of whining going on about the Porsche Cayenne and Panamera. Personally, most of the people I've known who complain about these two models are people who haven't driven them, while those who have say they are amazing vehicles (especially the Turbo models). But of course people complain that they are front-engine, larger vehicles that are better suited for everyday driving and so that means they're not "real" Porsches (okay, there are other reasons cited for this not-a-real-Porsche classification, but they're just as silly in my opinion).

2013 Porsche Cayenne Turbo. Photo courtesy Porsche Cars North America

Even if you think the Cayenne is ridiculous and you lust after a 911, you can't get away from the fact that Porsche is now flush with cash thanks to its SUV and sedan. In the United States alone half of all Porsches sold are Cayennes, making it a huge cash cow for the company. I say anything that allows Porsche to build more versions of the 911 is a good thing, not to mention other high-performance models like the Cayman R.

These whiny Porsche fans could learn a thing or two from watching Saab and its ugly, slow death as an automaker. Saab was like Porsche back in the day: both automakers produced very few cars that fit into a niche in the market. The big difference has been that Porsche has expanded out into more mainstream product channels, meanwhile Saab engaged in some badge engineering with a Subaru Impreza wagon and a Chevy Trailblazer of all things! Saab could still be alive today if it had produced vehicles like its too-little-too-late 9-4 back when things weren't so grim (and it wasn't owned by GM). Porsche fans could be crying about the death of their beloved automaker at the hands of GM or some other automotive behemoth that loves to buy companies and then destroy those companies like a child pulling the legs off an ant before frying it slowly with a magnifying glass.

So to the Porsche fans who are still whining and bitching and moaning about the Cayenne, the Panamera and other upcoming "baby" versions of these models, I say stop your whining and enjoy the fact Porsche is around and doing so well!

Tractor World 2013

After visiting Tractor World last year with sketchbook in hand I was very honoured to be invited back to run a display of my work and a demonstration. If you haven't heard of Tractor World before it is a huge tractor show that is held every year at the Malvern Showground by Kelsey Publishing. There is a great range of classic tractors on display with the occasional veteran. There is also a great range of Stationary Engines, trade stands and model farm displays. 

For more information please visit the website:

www.tractorworldshow.co.uk

1957 Nuffield Universal Three with Majar Spinner

(ink and water colour)

This was my main subject for the weekend. An immaculate Nuffield Universal Three with a Purkins P3 Engine (not standard on the Universal Three) with a Majar Spinner. 

The ink sketch was done on the Saturday and the watercolour applied on the Sunday. I don't normally use watercolours when out and about but I really enjoyed working out the colours from the real thing rather than a photograph, so I'm going to work out a more portable kit to be able to add more colour in future.

Closeup of the very neat Purkin conversion.

 Majar Spinner Immaculately restored.

1938 Le Percheon Systeme Lanz

(ink sketch)

 I'm getting quite obsessed with these hot bulb tractors. The Lanz tractor has a single cylinder engine that uses a metal bulb that is heated up to act as what we now know as a spark plug. This is a French version of the German Lanz, there were quite a few versions of this tractor that were made in various countries under licence from Lanz.

Tractors

 

Veteran International Junior

John Deere 4010 Diesel Rowcrop

1961 Porche Junior 108

Fordson

Field Marshal in original condition

 

  

Rumley 6 

1923 Fordson F Hadfield Penfield Halftrack

  1951 Turner Yeoman of England

 Nuffield 328, DM4 P4

 Case

 Twin City

Stationary Engines

 

1914 Amanco 4hp, 4 Mule Team

Crossley

 The Rest....

 Great Display of Early Petrol Cans

1997 Komatso

 Caterpillar

"Little Lizzie" Wheel Horse Tractor with Showman like awning and mini living wagon.

1950 Landrover Series 1 Tickford Station Wagon

All original condition this Tickford is a rare beast indeed. Designed as a luxury alternative the the basic series 1 this hardtop version was only produced between 1949 - 1950. Sales were low due to it costing £1000 to insure due the windows, only 30 examples exist. This example is now owned by Andrew who runs 1948 Original Equipment  a survival equipment specialist with taste.

1948 Landrover Series 1

Simplicity itself.

 UniMOG 

 1952 Nash Roller Tractor

On the way out I spotted this fantastic Alvis, obviously used as a parts hauler as the owner was loading it up with his pickings.

The Duesenberg - the Original "Duesy"

Duesenberg Model Y

Have you ever heard anyone say "that's a real duesy" when they're talking about something that outdoes other things of its kind? What you likely don't know is that the term actually comes from an old American luxury automobile, the Duesenberg. The company and its cars were lovingly given the nickname "Duesy" which was instantly grafted into English slang.


Even more-so than today, in the early 1900s European cars were revered for their refinement and luxury while American cars were looked down upon as more "common" and therefore inferior. Despite what I was taught in school (thank you public education system) Henry Ford was not the inventor of the automobile -- that honor is usually reserved for German engineer Karl Benz. So Europe was home to the first automobile, giving Europeans a little bit of a jump start on the development of automotive technology. Henry Ford was the one who figured out how to make cars more affordable through assembly line manufacturing.

Jay Leno with his Duesenberg Model Y

In any case, American cars couldn't get any respect since the Model T and other cars from the US weren't exactly high-class. That's where the Duesenberg changed things. The first car produced by the company, the Model A, produced between 90 and 100 horsepower with the first mass-produced straight-eight engine from the United States. The Model A came with a chrome nickel steel frame and four-wheel hydraulic brakes among other amenities not found on other American cars. The Model J, which was produced several years later, represented the pinnacle of engineering and design success for Duesenberg and was the car that cemented "Duesy" into our everyday language. The car produced 265 horsepower with a naturally aspirated eight-cylinder engine, but a supercharged version was available for those who wanted even more power. It was the most expensive American automobile to date, costing up to around $250,000 in today's dollars. Car aficionado Jay Leno owns several Duesenbergs, which he says perform like modern cars when it comes to acceleration, handling and braking. Really the Duesenberg set out a blueprint for where the auto industry was to go, even though the company went under during the Great Depression.

So remember the next time you or someone else says "that's a duesy!" where the term originates.

What's So Special About Geico Car Insurance?

GEICO vehicle insurance is an extremely well recognized vehicle insurance business and is an inspiration and source of drive for many insurance corporations. GEICO is renowned for their cute talking Gecko in their striking commercials and more recently included cavemen commercials. These two characters from the GEICO commercials would insure everything from automobiles, motorcycles and even boats. About GEICO: GEICO stands for Government Employees Insurance Company is considered as the leader in the vehicle insurance market and provides vehicle insurance to hundreds and thousands of people. If you are searching for a great vehicle insurance provider, then GEICO vehicle insurance provider would be a wise decision. This vehicle insurance provider was founded in the 1930s by Leo Goodwin and his wife Lillian Goodwin, which was during the great depression. This provider soon surpassed their opposition and became one of the best vehicle insurance companies in the United States including a number of other countries. Aside from this, there are also a few other things that you ought to know about the company. GEICO vehicle insurance company is rated as the number one property casualty insurer. GEICO is rated third for first-rate customer satisfaction among the people of United States. They were also rated as a superior company by actual consumers in the year 2007. The company also has a number of AAA’s across the board and they are also rated number one as the most desired insurer. What does GEICO offer? GEICO vehicle insurance suggest a number of discounts including multiple vehicle discounts, seatbelts, and discounts for cars with airbags and also includes discounts for a membership which is one of almost 300 organizations. Aside from this point, GEICO also offers strong and instant customer support. This includes 24/7 service through online support, phone and the claims taken care of very fast and fairly. Auto insurance with GEICO: Overall, GEICO actually beats the standards set by other vehicle insurance providers. You can benefit from very low prices and even enjoy great customer service. If you need a great and reasonable vehicle insurance, then GEICO vehicle insurance is the best decision. However, you might also be very familiar with other insurance companies which also offer you good prices and great after-bond services, but you should know inside-out about the company and whether it is one to be respected. The rising recognition of GEICO through their educative and comical commercials actually lets you know that they can be trusted. GEICO Auto Insurance and DUI Auto Insurance: DUI vehicle insurance is actually a considerable issue to those charged with drunk driving. The vehicle insurance companies including GEICO vehicle insurance would base their rates on numerous factors plus the driving record. Drunk driving convictions often cause most of the car insurance companies to even lose you as others might augment the rates of your insurance. In case of an accident due to drunk driving, it would also be very difficult to negotiate with your auto insurance company and with the lawyer. Although most of the vehicle insurance companies will just ignore such an accident, if you have a GEICO vehicle insurance policy, then you can be confident that the policy would cover the damage caused. You can search online for other insurance companies. However, it would be a bit difficult to find a vehicle insurance policy that would offer you very low rates for the policy and great service than with GEICO.

Disneyland and Cars

Cars Land at the California Adventure

Not too long ago I was able to enjoy a short trip to California, with some time spent at Disneyland. One thing I love about the resort is there really is a little bit of everything for everyone. Of course I'm a car guy, but the good news is there is car stuff at Disneyland. Anyone who has been to the park in the past few decades or so knows about Autotopia, the ride where you get to drive an internal combustion miniature car through an outdoor course. The car is kept on the pathway with some rails, which you can slam into pretty hard if you really jerk the wheel. Autotopia is a tribute to some old-time car culture, including the retro designs of the cars you get to drive. If you haven't been to Disneyland, I highly suggest going and checking out Autotopia.


There are a number of automotive related pieces of merchandise you can purchase at the park, like an I-5 Mickey Mouse road sign and a pin that's a Mickey Mouse made of car parts.

The Cozy Cone Motel

California Adventure has one new area that is all about automotive stuff: Cars Land. Remember the Pixar Cars movie? Some people loved it, others hated it. Well, the movies have been popular enough that Disney built a whole new section of the California Adventure that is a recreation of Radiator Springs. I have to say I was a little skeptical about Cars Land before I really spent some time there since I'm not a huge fan of Cars (but I don't hate it, either). You get to walk down the smooth-as-glass main street Lightning McQueen paved himself and see the various shops owned by the citizens of Radiator Springs. You can even have a meal at Flo's V8 Cafe (although I skipped that once I saw the outrageous prices).

I did, however, pop for a drink at the Cozy Cone Motel, mostly because the drink came in an orange traffic cone that for some inexplicable reason still seems cool. One of the shops there carried all kinds of automotive merchandise, including books about Route 66 that looked interesting. I will definitely have to go back to Cars Land and take it all in with more detail since I didn't have as much time as I would have liked, or as much money as I would have liked for my trip.

As you can see, the Cozy Cone has cone-themed decorations everywhere